The Voices In My Head

Ramblings of a Bangkokian Girl

Friday, October 31, 2003

Mr. Hankey, the Halloween Poo and the Rest of the Rat Pack

P'Ying and I started the experimental part of our theses today. Fifty male Wistar rats were involved as well as lots of squealing (more so from me and P'Ying rather than the rats). We're not scared of rats, heck no, but we're scared to death of hurting them. We had to grasp them behind their shoulders and force-feed them Arsenic with these long syringe-like metal tubes. Whaaah. God, I feel so sinful. As I was feeding rat number 2 Arsenic, I imagined him saying, "Just you wait till our next lives! I'll be the mad, evil scientist and you'll be the squealing rat, MWAHAHAHA!". There goes my plunging karma (not that I'm Buddhist, but still...). Still, I guess today wasn't that bad. Tomorrow's the big one; we're going to be gassing fifty rats with Ether before plucking out their spleens, livers, blood and testes. Thank God for P'Poh. Even though he'll probably never see this, kob khun mak mak mak ka. Without him, P'Ying and I would still be struggling with rat number 4 trying to get Arsenic down its throat.





P'Ying and I named a few of our furry friends. There was J. Lo, the biggest rat in the pack who had the biggest bad-@ss booty.

Bennifer getting cozy. Awww.


There was also Harry Houdini who performed a masterful escapist/disappearing act by squeezing his way out through the cage bars. How, I do not know, but maybe it was magic (ooooh...). Luckily, we caught him in time and so we didn't have to go scurrying around the lab on a mad goose hunt (or, in this case, mad rat hunt) trying to find him.


Harry Houdini, caught in the act.


There was also Tarzan, a rather brave little soul who liked to climb to high points and swing and perch. Last, but not least, my personal favorite, Mr. Hankey, the Halloween Poo. We named him, most affectionately, after Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo of South Park fame. Mr. Hankey (our Mr. Hankey, not South Park Mr. Hankey) had a tendency to defecate the most out of the whole rambunctious lot and was actually rather adept with poo-squirting. It was rather machine gun-like. Bang, bang, ka-bang. Needless to say, it was pretty gross. Can you picture flying poo? Oh, yuck.


"Howdy-Ho!"


P'Poh (bless his South Park-deprived soul) has never watched or even heard of South Park. We tried explaining what Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo was all about ("It's this hopping, talking piece of poo and he wears a cute little Santa hat. He sings funny Christmas carols and bugs Kyle during Christmas so that everyone in town thinks he's a fecal-philiac."), but all he did was give us this "you're-so-weird" look before saying, "Puak teu doo rai-karn arai wa nia?" (What the heck kind of TV do you guys watch?).

We should be done sometime next week. We have to go to Chulalongkorn University with P'James (this Ph.D grad who's helping Dr. Teerayut supervise us) to do some more tests. It's practically right next door to Siam Square, yah!

I still don't want to gas the rats tomorrow. God, I can still hear the rats crying out. Sob, sob, sob. Oh, the horror, I feel so effing horrible.

On another note, Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you all have fun tonight trick-or-treating and partying. Like Empty_Plate, I, too, am gonna be hitting the ceiling tonight once I get a hold of good-for-you Halloween sugasugasugasuga. Oh, and yes Dr. Brucey Chim-Chim Lee, 10/31 most certainly does equate to shameless hyperglycemia. Ms. Chocoholic is definitely in! Hoo yeah.



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Music for the soul

Michelle Tumes is bloody brilliant.

I just discovered her Center of the Universe album yesterday and am soo grateful. The atmospheric music is absolutely gorgeous. It transcends all musical boundries and her lyrics evoke beautiful dreamlike images. I call her album the-drifting-album (because it sends you drifting off to another time and place) and the-falling-asleep-album, not that it's boring or anything, but it's so soothing, it can send an insomniac like myself into a deep slumber in no time.

~*~
You're the sweet dreams that soothe me
When I can't fall asleep
You're the field in the middle of the city
When I'm rushing by at the speed of light
You're the strong resolution when I find no peace
You're the church bells ringing in the evening
When all is quiet You whisper comfort
That lifts my heart
I get so weak

You're the soft words that touch me
When I just can't speak
You're the breeze on the ocean in the morning
Reminding me to greet the day
You're the flowers I remember seeing in Italy
Colors through a golden haze
Bright and radiant, soft and fragrant
In the noon day sun, it makes me sing

~*~



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About Gumby Boy and Helmet-Banging

~*~

I was driving to class today, and as I sat waiting at a red light, a beat-up, anciently decrepit-looking car playing crank-it-up-loud rock music came to a stop next to me. When I turned to look at the driver, I noticed that he was enthusiastically head-banging along to some music and that he was wearing a motorcycle helmet! Yeah, that's right, a helmet. It was so comical... this guy in an itty-bitty, tiny, little car (kinda like the ones clowns use at the circus) wearing a colossal helmet as he head-banged to some Thai rock song. I was about to start laughing my @rse off, but he turned to glare at me and I had to stop myself in fear of being head-banged (I mean helmet-banged) to death.

On another note, my brother is a freak. No, really. This isn't sibling hostility or anything, he really, truly is. Look below, see what I mean?

Me: (staring agape at Jason whose right pinky finger is bent back at a grotesquely unnatural angle) Holy crap, I've known you since the day you were born and I didn't know you could do that!
J: Do what?
Me: (pointing madly at the freakish pinky) THAT!
J: What, oh, this? (easily bends back the pinky on his other hand)
Me: GAHH! Don't do that! Your finger's gonna snap!
J: No it won't. (bends it again, back and forth, up and down, twists it and turns it back and forth again and again like it's nothing but putty or some other rubber-like substance) See? A-OK.
Me: You are freakishly abnormal, do you know that? If you'd lived a hundred years ago, you would've been the main attraction in the traveling circus.
J: ...
Me: No, wait, a hundred years or not, you still could be the main attraction in any modern-day traveling circus...
(pregnant pause)
Me: Even Gumby got his own TV show in the 80's.



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Thursday, October 30, 2003

About Thai Engrish and the Skills of Bar Girls

For all you Bangkokians out there, Bangkok Bob's site is a great place for you to catch up on all the latest BKK news or for visitors to get acquainted with the twists and turns of the city.

This is from Bangkok Bob's site and I just had to share it. Funky, strange engrish and bargirls who actually put for sale adverts in the newspaper... lol, I swear there's no other country in the world quite like Thailand.

As for all you unsuspecting male farang tourists and future visitors of the land of smiles, I suggest you skim over Bangkok Bob's The Bar Girl's 10 Commandments and learn the tricks of the trade. Your wallet will thank you.

Gotta head to class now, I'm running late. Please don't let there be traffic.



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Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Blueberry Cheesecake Can Motivate You

~*~

I've moved to blogger because I like the freedom you're given in modifying and altering your blog's templates and designs. I'm still in the process of moving my old xanga entries here, and so the archives aren't quite complete yet. Oh, this template isn't my own (I'm not that artistically inclined, lol), but if you like it, you can get this design and other templates for your own blog here. Since I'm a Shakespeare fan, I really liked the Midsummer Night's Dream layout... and hey, the little fairy is playing the Irish tin whistle. :) (btw, I still have my xanga account, but if you go there it'll just redirect you to here).

I got the sudden urge to do a little more jogging than I usually do around the lake behind my house today (okay, the blueberry cheesecake I had at lunch might have had a little something to do with it). Jason came along, too, but on his bike (lazy @rse ). I have recently reunited with my digital cam and so I brought it along with me, too. My finger got a little spastic along the way and I started snapping every random little thing...

Click on the thumbnails to enlarge them (they'll open in a new browser).



You can't see my house in this pic, but it's there, a little further down the lake beyond the palm trees.



My house is directly across the lake from here. You can see the silhouette of the quaint little Thai sala I like to frequent whenever it isn't occupied by other peeps. It's a great place to watch the sun set or just kick back and read or listen to music. Same old view but the sky flashes different colors everyday.



The sala again.



Do you see the house with the blue roof? They have mad parties nearly every single weekend and you can always hear everything from top 40 hits to old 70's disco tunes to cringe-worthy luk tung music blasting away from their side of the lake. But it's all good because sometimes even I like grooving to Abba's Dancing Queen. Last time they had a little karaoke session and I'll never forget it because there was this one guy who sang Britney's "Oops! I Did it Again" song and I swear I nearly died laughing. I know, how mean, but I really couldn't help it. He got so into it and even from across the lake in my backyard, I could hear all the little moans and groans and "ooh yeahs" he made. Oh man, it was so freakin hilarious.



Just some left over som tum and kao pad someone left out for the dogs. I wonder how dogs can tolerate spicy food, I mean, you never see them running around in desperate search of water after eating a spicy dish. I guess it's the extra tough tongues?



Another lake on the other side of the moo ban.



Because 14-year old boys have a fascination with all things gruesome, Jason thought this was cool and took a pic. It's the remains of a poor frog. This is quite common in Thailand, actually. These kahng koke's get squashed all the time by passing cars, motorcycles, trucks (sometimes people), and what's left behind are these big black splotches along the streets. If you get grossed out easily and don't want to lose your lunch, don't click! (Especially if you don't want to see its bones). Yecch.



View from the playground. There was this little girl who took off her clothes and started running around naked with flailing arms. Heh, it was funny and I wanted to take a pic, but I don't think her mom would have appreciated it much.



Here's my street. Home sweet home.


Bye bye sleeping-late, sleeping-in, doing-nothing-but-going-out-and-lazing-about vacation of bliss, school has started. And so the vicious cycle starts all over again...



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Friday, October 24, 2003

Currently Reading:

Irish Blessings: A Photographic Celebration
By Ashley Shannon

~*~

Sorry about the multiple entries, but I just felt like blogging a bit. I just had this long talk with Gug on the phone. It made me think of one of markboonya's entries about people who you can just click with as friends...a sort of "soul mate" in terms of friendship. I feel so fortunate to have a tight group of friends... these amazing people from high school whom, even though I don't see or talk to for months on end, I can still pick up with as though the last time I saw them was just a few hours ago.

We started talking about the Pattaya trip this weekend, and then ended up delving into other things: the future, how we've changed since high school, what we want from life, things like that... Heh, and of course we started talking about ruang kwam rak, too. I don't know if it's just the guys at our universities or what, but we've concluded that it's practically impossible to find decent Thai guys (I mean Thai guys who are born and raised here) who you can just click with. I remember having a conversation with Dea and Siri about the same thing. A lot of Thai guys (at our unis, at least) switch girlfriends like accessories. It's like, oh, I have my car, flashy cell phone, and girlfriend hanging off my arm, I'm so fly. Or some of them expect their girlfriends to be the clingy, non-independent types who are constantly there for them at their every call and whim. Do I sound cynical and pessimistic? I probably do, but it's just what some of my friends and I have observed these past few years while attending Thai universities. I know there's guys like that everywhere, but with Thai guys, it's extra hard to see eye to eye with them about certain things. I guess it's because of the different upbringing, different ideas and different expectations. I don't know. But coming from an international school and upbringing, we were always sort of caught in the middle of the western and eastern world. We were brought up to think like people from the west, but were still immersed in the ways of the east. As a result, we're a sort of mix of both, neither one nor the other. Makes me think of this one guy I used to know who said international school graduates are "third culture people". We're ethnically one culture, are born into another culture, and grow up surrounded and influenced by another completely different culture.

Anyway, guy ranting aside, a lot of what Gug said today got me thinking long and hard. Who knows what we'll be like a few years from now... where we'll be... what sort of lives we'll be living out. But, whatever the case, I guess that the not knowing part is what makes it all the more exciting. Hmm...



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Thursday, October 23, 2003


Currently Playing:

Whaler

By Sophie B. Hawkins


~*~
"i wonder why i feel so high
though i am not above the sorrow
heavy-hearted
till you call my name
and it sounds like church bells
or the whistle of a train
on a summer evening
i'll run to meet you
barefoot, barely breathing..."

- Sophie B. Hawkins [As I Lay Me Down]
~*~


Kids say the funniest things.

At a recent family get-together dinner, my adorable, very cheeky, seven-year old cousin, Nina, exclaimed rather audibly when she heard the adults talking about the whole Paradorn & Tata ordeal, "Paradorn has such big lips! Isn't Tata scared he might eat her up when they kiss?".  She followed this up with wet, smacking, kissing noises that were so loud, I swear the farang couple at the table next to us heard it (I believe I heard tittering coming from their table).  A few minutes later, obviously after much speculation and thought, she suddenly cried out, "But Tata has a big mouth too because she's a singer and looks like a puffer fish, so maybe she'll eat him up." This time I was certain the farang couple heard that because they were practically howling with laughter.

Today, I saw my ten-year old cousin (he's actually my cousin's son, so I guess that makes us second cousins?). The last time I saw him was about a year ago and he's grown up so much since then. Not physically, though… poor kid got all the short genes in the family and so while his brother and sister are giants, he's still, well, short. Anyway, he's already passed his cutie-patootie phase and so I can't squeeze his chubby cheeks anymore in risk of being swatted at.  He's starting to near puberty and from what my cousin (his mom) says, the mood swings are now in full force.

I still remember when he was six and the cutest thing on earth:

Mann: I farted in class today while the teacher was reading to us.
Me: Uhhhh. Really?
Mann: Yeah, it was really loud. Boom, boom, BOOM!
Me: (trying desperately to keep a straight face)
Mann: We were all sitting in a circle.  I was going to say my friend did it, but then I got an idea.
Me: Oh yeah?  What was your idea?
Mann: (rolling his eyes like the answer is so plainly obvious)  You got to hurry and breathe it all in before other people smell it (starts inhaling like mad…I'm so worried he's going to start hyperventilating).  See?  Like this (Heave, heave. Inhale. Pant.).
Me: Ehh…are you sure that works?
Mann: (gives me an exasperated look and rolls his eyes)  You don't believe me, right?  OK, here, I'll show you.

I reminded him of his expertly adivce today and he gave me the most baffled look, "Arai wa?.  Dude, I'd never do anything stupid like that." Then he started to look a little uncertain. "Or maybe I did… but don't tell Ben (his older brother)... he'd blackmail me if he knew that."

Ah, sibling love, ain't it grand?

I've recently rediscovered Sophie B. Hawkins' Whaler album, thanks to the background music Naeglerian recently put up on his site.  I remember listening to Whaler nonstop throughout eighth and ninth grade, but then soon forgot about it after Hanson came MMMBopping into the music scene during the summer of '97.   As I Lay Me Down is definitely one of the best ballads of all time.



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Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Currently Playing:

White on Blonde

By Texas
~*~
"i'll send you a postcard from heaven's ocean
i feel like staying here in heaven's ocean
there's a storm in my thoughts now
come wash me clean beneath the waves with me
now we're smiling, see me smiling
silence is what I need it's only in the sea"


Texas [Postcard]

~*~


Was talking with Akira on MSN this morning, and yea, the APEC conference has finally come to a close:

Banno says: APEC is over right
. l y n n . says: yup
Banno says: i heard that thailand did a great job man
. l y n n . says: yeah, they did!
Banno says: its great to know that... "pride of thailand"
. l y n n . says: hehe bush was tapping his feet to the "ra-nad" music during the royal barge ceremony
Banno says: really, he did that?
Banno says: arghh..anyways i'm happy he's gone from bkk
. l y n n . says: yeah i read it in the daily news this morning
. l y n n . says: they also said arroyo couldn't get enough of Thai durian lol
Banno says: haha....really?....where do you get that from
Banno says: daily news thailand?
Banno says: haha...its quite funny putting that into the article
. l y n n . says: yeah i just got back from the bank and was reading a little snippet
. l y n n . says: from the newspaper while i was there
Banno says: but arroyo's country has DURIAN
. l y n n . says: yeah i know... but they said she really liked durian ice cream
Banno says: but anyways great job...really happy for thailand
Banno says: durian ice cream
Banno says: thinking about it
Banno says: she is small and chubby
. l y n n . says: hahaha
. l y n n . says: so is megawati....
. l y n n . says: or as my brother says, MEGAwati

By the way, if anyone was wondering, Arroyo's the president of the Philippines and Megawati's the prime minister of Indonesia.

Yecch.  I can't stand durian, much less durian ice cream.  I remember trying durian for the first time when I was eight.  I was on vacation in Thailand and as I took my first trip to the thalad nud (morning market), my cousin said to me rather excitedly, "You HAVE to try this!!!  It's the best thing EVER, in the whole wide world!!!  I eat it ALL the time!!  I can't get enough of this stuff!!!!".  So, as you can imagine, I was really eager to get a taste of this "really amazing fruit" (*insert multiple, excited exclamations*), and I did... and I regretted it.  I wanted to spit it out, stomp on it and gargle until my tongue fell out, but couldn't because my cousin and the mae kha (vendor lady) both had these super excited looks on their faces as I took my first bite... I remember my cousin looking as though she expected me to start jumping up and down, raving about durian, "the best fruit in the whole wide world!!!!" (*insert multiple, excited exclamations*).  All I could offer was a weak, "aroy dee ka" (*cough, choke, cough*).  I now avoid the yucky yellow stuff like the plague.

Thai Rath also had more details (gossip) on what went on behind the scenes at APEC, too.  Poor Bush, they said he really wanted to leave his bulletproof room to view the Royal Barge ceremony from outside, but his body guard wouldn't let him.  Also, as I was watching the live coverage, I noticed that everytime he greeted Taksin before a conference, he would go, "Howdy, Mr. Prime Minister!"... hehehe, gotta love the Texan in him.

I got this from Joy yesterday... I thought it was cute. 



Oh yeah, I'm all for promoting bitch-slapping.

And, for some really odd reason, I find this mildly amusing.  According to them, I am insane.  Kakakaka...

Oh, and speaking of Texans, Texas rocks (the band, not the Lone Star State). I'm listening to them right now and Put Your Arms Around Me is achingly beautiful... Sharleen Spiteri, what a gorgeous voice.



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Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Currently Reading:

Memoirs of a Geisha

By Arhur Golden


~*~

So. Today was weird.

I dropped by my uni in the morning because I had to attend this conference thing about the significance of research, blah blah blah. Anyhoo, afterwards, as I was walking to my car, this car with 50 Cents blasting the life out of its speakers slows down next to me, and this guy with flappy hair down to his shoulders and a big smirk on his face sticks his head out and calls, "Nong, nong!" (Nong is a term Thai people use to refer to people younger than themselves). I, with my head in the clouds and filled to the brim with countless random things, don't realize that it's me he's referring to and continue on walking. His friend speeds up a little and he calls out again, "NONG! DAI YIN REU PLAO?!" (Can you hear me?). Hell yeah. Stop yelling already. I turn to look at him and he continues, "Koh beu toh tee haw noy" (Give me the phone # to your dorm). I don't stay in the school dorms, and even if I did, I wouldn't give it to some random guy I didn't know. "Uhh, mai mee ka" (I don't have one), I reply. Male laughter ensues and I estimate that there must've been at least 4-5 guys in there... I'm not so sure because I couldn't really see through the tinted windows. I turn around and continue on marching, a little quicker this time. His friend speeds up again, gets a little too close to the sidewalk, splashes a big murky puddle of yesterday's rainwater onto my shoes and, with an even bigger smirk on his face (and obviously enjoying every moment of this), calls out again, "Laew beu meu teu la?" (What about your cell phone number?).

Uh huh. Yeah right. So, I'm pretty PO'd at this point. I'm standing there in my favorite pair of shoes (completely drenched at this point) with squishy toes, when suddenly, my phone rings. It's my brother reminding me to pick up some poster paper for him on the way home. I ask him what color he needs and tell him that I also have to stop by Central to pick up a present for P'Ying and so I might get home a little late. I get off the phone, get ready to eloquently emit a long string of Thai curse words at them over the sorry state of my ruined shoes, when the guy with the flappy hairdo suddenly gives this small, apologetic nod and says in English, "Oh, so sorry, not bother again." The window zips back up and the car speeds off in a hurry.

Heh. Was that weird or what?



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Sunday, October 19, 2003

Currently Playing:

Celtic Twilight, Vol. 1

By Various Artists



~*~

So.  This whole APEC thing has Bangkok running around like mad. 

I know, I know, the officials are trying their best to make a good impression since this is a big international event and the God of all gods (pfft, Bush) is here, but really, c'mon, I had to draw the line at this and this.



"Nobody told us about the huge canvas," said Su, a restaurant owner at Tha Tien pier. "But it's okay to cover the slums. If foreigners take photos of the slums, it would lead to a loss of face when people say there's a slum in the middle of Bangkok."
"This is good. It's good for our image abroad. We're such an insignificant people that we wouldn't mind cooperating," said Somsak Chusap, 54, who rents a tiny plywood room from the Crown Property Bureau for Bt20 a day.

Thai people are SO tolerant and so, so humble, you really have to admire and love them for it.  If this were any other country in the world, I bet there would be full-fledged protests and riots going on.  I can't believe that guy actually said that he's insignificant.  When I first heard about the canvas thing, I couldn't believe it.  It's almost comical, really... I can't believe they really think a big ass canvas almost 4 stories high will really be able to block out the slum district along the Chao Praya.  I mean, hello, it's no secret that poverty exists in Bangkok.

As for all that money they're dishing out for the big 'facelift', I can point out so many other ways that that money could be put to better use. I mean, wow, $20 million.  All of a sudden there's more benches than butts along the streets, golden swans everywhere along Royal Plaza, and big stampedes of green elephants along Rajdomnoen avenue.  They shouldn't have to wait for APEC to beautify the city, Bangkok should be a pleasant place to live all the time.

But even so, the little flaws are what give BKK its character.  The government officials and APEC organizers don't understand that it is the occasional street dweller peacefully snoozing in the afternoon sun upon a street bench that adds to the charm of this great big wonderful multi-faceted city. Bangkok's a place where day in and day out, the new and the old, and the east and the west sit side by side in harmony; a place where the glittering colors of ancient wats reflect off the sprawling windows of nearby skyscrapers; a place where a khun ying decked out in diamond rings, a classy Versace suit and a big hairspray-laden hairdo will sit down on the side of the road and slurp 20 baht kuay thiew reua noodles next to a raggedly dressed old man who sells garlands at traffic intersections.  They have to realize that Bangkok isn't Paris, or London, or any other posh European city for that matter, but is rather a completely different city with its own allure, quirks and charm. I don't see the 10 million tourists who visit Thailand each year complaining.  Dude, whatever happened to pride in one's city and country?

On the plus side, the APEC thing has helped put Bangkok on the map.  I still have to give props to the APEC organizers for pulling together one heck of a show.  My mom went to the practice rehearsal of the Royal Barge Ceremony the other night and said it was absolutely stunning.  The lights were ablaze, and as the barges came gliding by along the Chao Praya river, she said that it was like something out of the historical Thai stories you hear about the golden days of royal grandeur.  The tix were fuckin expensive (front row seats costed something like 100,000 baht), but my mom was fortunate to get in for free because she knew some peeps who were offered extra seats.

To add to the APEC hype, they've even added an APEC channel to UBC (my TV cable provider) where they have APEC updates every 30 minutes and show live coverage of the conferences and talks.  Documentaries about the various regions of Thailand have been airing 24/7 for the past week and I've found myself learning so much more about Thailand's history and heritage.  It's embarrassing, I've lived here for nearly 10 years and my historical Thai knowledge is yae mak mak  While watching this show about the Vimanmek mansion today, I realized that I've never even been there; nor have I been to the ruins in Ayuttaya.  I guess that because I live here, I never got around to doing some of the essential touristy things most people do when they visit Thailand. 

A little more ranting about all the APEC frenzy:  I was stuck in traffic for 3 hours yesterday because they closed off all the roads around Rajdamri and Ploenchit.  I eventually gave up and parked my car and hopped onto the skytrain because I was running out of gas and patience.
But what's really got me ticked off is that Craig David concert's been canceled because they're concerned about congestion on the night of the concert... and God forbid if Bush gets stuck in a little traffic.
Geeeez.  I know I must sound like a real bitch and a half right now.  I'm sorry, but it's just that I was SO looking forward to the Craig David concert.  I can't go to the C21 concert on the 26th either because I'll be in Pattaya, but I'm definitely catching the Santana gig on the 3rd.  That I definitely can't miss.  Oh yeah, black magic woman, woohoo.



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Currently Reading:

The Glass Palace: A Novel

By Amitav Ghosh


~*~
"'My first impression of Jay was that he was so shy, so quiet," Wu recalls. "I thought he was retarded. I didn't think Chou could make it as an entertainer because he's not so handsome.
How did a kid with an overbite, aquiline nose and receding chin displace the Nicholases and Andys and Jackys to become Asia's hottest pop star? The explanation starts somewhere back in that stuffy studio, with the discipline and the songs and the revolutionary idea that the music actually matters. 'Even when my female fans approach me, they don't tell me that I'm handsome,' Chou explains. 'They tell me they like my music. It's my music that has charmed them.'
As a boy, Chou was called retarded. Stupid. Yu tsun. Ellen Hsu, his high school English teacher, figured Chou had a learning disability: 'He had very few facial expressions; I thought he was dumb.' The kid couldn't focus on math, science, didn't bother with his English homework. But his mother, Ye Hui-mei, noticed that the quiet, shy boy seemed to practically vibrate when he heard the Western pop music she used to play. 'He was sensitive to music before he could walk,' she recalls. Ye enrolled him in piano school when he was four. And the kid could play. He practiced like a fiend, focusing on the keys the way other children his age focused on a scoop of ice cream."


-- Kate Drake [Time Asia]

~*~

The inevitable, very comprehensive, rambling-on-end, raving-about-Jay-Chou entry>

I love music. I eat it up every chance I get and will listen to any genre of music that's plopped down in front of me. Wherever I am, it's constantly playing, whether it's the somber notes of the Irish whistle I listen to while studying, the loud wails of Aerosmith and U2 I blast while driving, or even the popalicious beats of Britney I turn up while cooking (aka mixing various random items around in a pot to see how it turns out), it's always around me. Lately, I've been listening to nothing but Jay Chou. I'm not so sure what it is about him that sets him apart from all the other Chinese pop/R&B acts, but, as cliche as it sounds, I truly think that it's all about his total passion and devotion to the music.

 

Like with his previous albums, his latest album, Ye Hui Mei (named after his dear mother), plays like a soundtrack to a movie. You can tell he had fun experimenting on this album and can see just how far he allowed his musical genius run wild this time around. Even after his fourth album and the fact that I have listened to his songs hundreds of times over, he still manages to surprise me. Some of his songs are just downright weird, full of eccentric rhythms, effects, and wails. But despite all the odd weirdness, it all adds to the charm of the album and also brings an extra layer of complexity that makes me notice something different in Ye Hui Mei every time I listen to it.

I love his voice. I love the slurred syllables. I love the brooding lamenting plea in Qing Tian (Fine Day), the mellow nonchalant tone in Yi Fu Zhi Ming (In the Name of the Father), the fusion of tribal chants in Ti Tian (Terraced Fields) and the driving rapping intensity of Shuang Dao (Double Blade).

I also love the lyrics. After looking up the translations, I found out that not all of his songs are sappy love songs. He writes freely?almost poetically, and so his lyrics come out sounding like a sort of soliloquy. He vents about the disappearing Chinese ruralscape in Ti Tian (Terraced Fields): People's sweat mixed with satisfaction, cheers and laughter/ How come the terraced fields are missing?/ They've become paintings that hang from walls/ I can't educate you/I'm not your teacher/I'm not the headmaster/And I can't give you a slap, slap, slap or long, long, long lengthy speech/You might not want to listen/But I donกฆt have any other way/That is why I need to write. Ever the Bruce Lee aficionado, this album, like all of his albums, has at least one kung-fu related song, as seen in Shuang Dao (Double Blade) where he paints the beginning of a sword fight: The moon above/That color - Chinese yellow/Wind flies around the hazy smoke/I light incense/Pray for safety and security/I see through all the resentment/The vision of the red phoenix eyes.

Nuo Fo (Coward), explodes with huge rock overtones and blazing guitar riffs. If not for the Mandarin, it could easily be mistaken for a Linkin Park song.  Very very cool.  Shuang Dao (Double Blade) is another rocking song that, despite the driving electric guitars, still manages to squeeze in piano runs, dramatic string arrangements and lutes in between the ferocious sword slashes that keep beat to his vigorous rapping.

Going all the way with effects and experimenting this time around, Tong Yi Zhong Diao Diao (Same Old Tune) has a sort of Flamenco music break of some sorts in the middle of the song where the tap-tap-tapping of the dancers' shoes keep time to the music.  Eccentric rhythms and effects, but oddly catchy at the same time.

In Ta De Jie Mao (Her Eyelashes), Jay raps with a sort of slick, confident swagger before bursting into a chorus with harmonies so infectious, I've been humming it nonstop for the past week. Qing Tian (Fine Day) has Jay singing his heart out, you can't help but think, now there's a guy with a broken heart; makes you want to give him a big hug even though you can't understand a single word he's saying.

San Nian Er Ban (Third Year Class Two) is sheer genius.  Bouncing ping pong balls actually keep beat to Jay's very infectious rapping.  Hard to imagine, I know, but you have to hear it to believe it. 

Not all the songs are fast, there's a few ballads, too.  Ni Ting De Dao (Can You Hear?) is a trademark Jay ballad I bet he could easily squeeze out in his sleep.  Ai Qing Xuan Ya (Cliff of Love) starts off with a little piano snippet I think is from Beethoven's Fur Elise, (but set in a different key).  It reminds me of Train, or even Coldplay's material, because it's a ballad with that sort of lite-rock feel.  It's sad, it's brooding and it's Jay singing with so much yearning, I can already hear all the girls crying out in sympathy (despite the slightly cliche lyrics) as he "falls down the cliff of love" as "time buries [him]".

Yi Fu Zhi Ming (In the Name of the Father) sets you right in the middle of an Italian mafia movie complete with firing gun shots, rueful apologies to God, bitter regrets about past sins, murmured "Our Father" prayers in Italian and a shrill soprano belting out Pie Jesu smack in the middle of the song. The first few lines set the scene: The slightly cool morning dew/Moistens the black ceremonial robe/There is mist on the stone road/Father is whispering/Feeling hopeless, becoming aware/Who is it that treads so soft and lightly?/Theyกฆve stopped/Too late to cry out/The bullet that passes through/Takes away the warmth of life. The rapping is impeccable and the syncopated rhythm will hook and reel you in immediately. It's eerie, it's creepy, and with the shrill soprano you can almost feel the Phantom of the Opera lurking in the background. It's plain weird, but I love it. Oh, and Jay looked oh so cool with the suit and shades in the music video. Hoo yeah. He really pulled out the big guns this time (quite literally, actually... guns were firing left and right), who would've thought he could pull off that tough-guy, mafia look?

 

Dong Feng Po (East Wind Breaks) is my favorite song on the album. I heard it the first time and got goose bumps from the rich, melancholic strains of the Erhu. It's so effective, and so unexpected, this gorgeous classical Chinese instrument that reminds me of the old Chinese songs my ah-ma used to play. It simply rises forth and sings above the quiet percussion and western rhythms. The light sprinkles of the Dulcimer are lovely, lovely, lovely and accompanies Jay beautifully as his voice dips and slides in all the right places. The fusion of east and west is seamless, and who can deny that it's such a pretty song?

Another stand-out track is the absolutely magnificent Ti Tian (Terraced Fields).  It's fuckin brilliant and is an exotic mixture that incorporates  aboriginal Taiwanese chanting with beautiful vocal arrangements and quiet piano playing.  Jay's rapping is understated and subdued, but has a building intensity that fuses seamlessly with the chanting.  This is, hands down, the masterpiece of the album.

Jay Chou is hardly a one-hit wonder or fabricated Mando-star.  He's a musical genius whose classical training (piano & cello) and sheer creativity has allowed him to push the boundries of the Asian music industry one step further with each new album, setting him apart and in a completely different genre from other Chinese pop/R&B acts and artists.  This article from Time Asia summarizes it best:

 "What makes Chou's music successful, and distinctive from all the boys who would be Jay, is that when he sings that he is hurting or yearning or that he needs you so bad, you believe him. His delivery is Boyz II Men-smooth, and he hits those notes with a conviction born of having proved himself as a songwriter. Remember, he spent nearly two years in that studio watching and hearing what worked and what didn't, and the results of that dues paying are a confidence and a swagger that comes across on disc. On CDs like Jay, Fantasy Life and Eight Dimensions, you're listening to a man who believes in the musical choices he is making, who knows he is right. He is not singing what some manager in an office somewhere has told him will be a hit; he is singing his heart out, right now, for you."

Another stellar album and no more breath left to rave. Hooray for Jay Chou.

The inevitable, very comprehensive, rambling-on-end, raving-about-Jay-Chou entry>





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